Of Accidents and Whale-Watching
by bellagill92
Summary: When all things were considered, the conclusion that was reached was that it was all Wendy's fault. (Part of the 'Our World' series. Can be read as a stand-alone fic.)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Yay for my first multi-chapter fic! This one has been on the making for a looooooooooong time. Seriously - I've started in like... February. Anyway, this week I rewrote about 50% of what I had written because it just wasn't working the way I had it. It's not quite finished, though. It should have around 3 chapters + epilogue by the end of it and I have 2.5 chapters + epilogue finished. Hopefully I will be able to finish that half chapter without delaying things - stuff is mostly outlined for it...**

**This fic belongs to my usual 'Jellal has joined the guild' universe. You can find the fics of this Universe listed in my profile, so technically this is a sequel to 'The Rollercoaster', etc and prequel of 'Under the Starry Sky', 'Wonder', 'Giants', 'Mavis the Friendly Ghost', among others.**

**Also, the plant names are totally made up!**

**I hope you guys like it :D**

**June x793**

When all things were considered, the conclusion that was reached was that it was all Wendy's fault.

"Wendy!" the elderly healer shouted as her eyes scanned a couple of jars full of herbs in her hands. She had just fetched them from the shelves of her workspace and reached an alarming conclusion. One was nearly full, the other one was nearly empty, both containing similar-looking herbs… She frowned. That wasn't right.

The fourteen-year-old Dragon Slayer nearly jumped out of her skin as she heard her tutor calling her, immediately getting to her feet and going to her, followed by the ever-present Carla. "Yes, Porlyusica-san."

"What happened to all the herbs in this jar?" she asked her, showing her the nearly empty jar.

The young girl frowned. "I made them into syrup and gave it to the girls like you told me to."

Porlyusica stared. "What girls?"

"You know: Lucy, Erza, Levy, Juvia and Lisanna."

There was a silent pause. "I asked you to give them the Barbwort, not the Tazelvain."

"But isn't that Barbwort you're holding?"

"No, _this _is Barbwort," Porlyusica corrected her, showing her the other jar – the full one. "The nearly empty jar is Tazelvain."

Wendy's eyes widened. "But I thought Barbwort was purple and Tazelvain was red!"

"Usually they are, but there are certain kinds of Tazelvain growing around Magnolia that look purple as well. By the gods, girl! Can't you read the labels?!"

"I can read, but… well…"

"What, Wendy?!" the woman barked.

"Your handwriting is unreadable sometimes!" Carla said for her. "Honestly, some things you write look like just random squiggly lines! Nobody could decipher those words!"

"Then why didn't you ask?!"

Wendy looked down, ashamed. "I didn't want to bother you. You've been such a kind, patient teacher. Everyone said otherwise but you're making a real effort to be nice to me, so I wanted to be… proactive. I read everywhere that you could tell Barbwort apart from Tazelvain by the color, so I didn't think I needed to bother you with that."

"You _should _have bothered me with that. I am your teacher – I am here to be bothered! And now, it looks like you gave Tazelvain to everyone!"

Wendy looked like she might cry. "Oh… god, did I make anybody sick? Oh, no! This is bad. I'll make a horrible healer!"

"Wendy, calm yourself down," Carla soothed the girl.

Porlyusica sighed. If it were anybody else, she would have torn them a new one. But she had a soft spot for the young Dragon Slayer… "Calm down, you didn't kill anybody."

The blue-haired girl sighed in relief. "Thank God!"

"Don't start throwing the fireworks just yet, girl. Remember what Barbwort is for?"

Wendy looked thoughtful for a moment. And then, she blanched. "No… please, no…"

"What is it?" Carla enquired. "What's going on?"

The Dragon Slayer sobbed. "I've just gotten a bunch of girls pregnant!"

* * *

><p>"What?!" Lucy asked in disbelief. "You want us to do what?"<p>

"I want you to pee into those cups and then wait for a few minutes."

"Why would we ever do that?" Levy inquired.

"Because I say so!" Porlyusica shouted. There were four humans too many in her house and she wanted to get it over with. Couldn't they just comply?

Lisanna cleared her throat. "Porlyusica, I think it's not unreasonable for us to question as to why you want a sample of our bodily fluids," she argued. "I'm sure you'd see that too if you thought for a moment."

The older woman didn't respond but, instead, Wendy let out a sob. "It's my fault!" she wailed.

"Wendy!" Carla admonished.

"But it is!" she insisted. "I mixed up some herbs and screwed up your anti-conceptional syrup, so you could all be pregnant right now!"

"What?!" Levy shouted.

"Gray-sama's baby…" Juvia mumbled, her eyes sparkling with… excitement?

"It must be pregnancy season," Lisanna mumbled under her breath. "Mira-nee does know where to aim."

"What?" Carla said, frowning at her mumbling.

"Nothing!"

"I'm sorry!" Wendy shouted, burying her face in her hands and sobbing.

Porlyusica sighed. "No use crying over spilled milk," she told the girl, far more sympathetic than she would have been with anybody else. "Look, Wendy did mix up some herbs that look quite similar. The good news is that those plants do belong to the same general family, so both of them can somewhat reduce your fertility, although the one Wendy gave you by mistake is considerably less effective than the one you should have been given. The only thing we can do now is seeing if you are indeed up the duff, so to speak, and take it from there."

Lisanna cleared her throat. "I think I can save you the trouble and assure you there is absolutely no way I can be with child right now," she said. "I… er… I haven't been…" she paused, coughing "with anyone recently." Or ever, for that matter, but that was a whole other story. The only reason why she took the syrup was to ease her monthly cramps.

"I don't think I am either," Lucy announced.

Although Lisanna's admission hadn't surprised anybody – seeing as she wasn't seeing anyone – Lucy's had every girl in the house doing a double-take.

"What? You and Natsu are always going at it!" Levy shouted. "I saw you changing the other day – your boobs are covered with bite marks!"

"Levy-chan!"

Juvia glared. "Juvia knew it. Love-rival doesn't lay with Natsu-san because she actually wants Juvia's Gray-sama. _Love-rival!_"

"No! It's nothing like that!" Lucy said, lifting her hands up as if to show she carried no arms. "It's just that… well, I don't think it should be just the girl's job to, well, handle protection. So, I make Natsu always… er, wear his own too. It's only fair. Plus, he's used my syrup with pancakes more than once," she added, rolling her eyes. "He likes it because it's spicy."

Most or the girls 'ew-ed' while Lisanna just sighed. "Sounds like something Natsu would do."

"That little fire-breathing idiot," Porlyusica mumbled. "But making him wear his own protection is smart. I guess there is hope for some humans…" She turned to Levy and Juvia. "I don't suppose you two are in the same situation." They shook their heads. "Typical. Learn from the blonde one."

"I have a name! It's Lucy!"

Porlyusica ignored her and, just then, Erza unceremoniously burst into the house. "I apologize for my lateness. I was told you needed me here."

The older woman handed her a cup. "Pee into that."

"Where can I find the bathroom?"

The pink-haired woman pointed at a door and Erza made her way to it without a question.

"What? She doesn't ask questions?" Lucy asked.

"She's not a pest unless she knows she's actually sick or injured and slides into denial mode," Porlyusica said, turning to Levy and Juvia. "Now, the two of you – either pee in this cup or risk getting a surprise in a few weeks. Your choice – I am washing my hands from this right now. So is Wendy."

"Juvia will take the test!" the water mage announced, sounding excited. "Juvia must know if she needs start researching for names and planning the nursery, and…"

"I'm sorry," Lucy interrupted her. "Is it me or you are actually _hoping _that you're pregnant?"

The blue-haired girl gaped. "Juvia would never do such a thing! She would never get pregnant on purpose against Gray-sama's wishes to trap him like Love-rival is implying!"

"_I never said anything about that!" _

"However, an accident would be fair ga… er, not necessarily a tragedy, Juvia means," she said, looking quite hopeful.

"For me, it would be," Levy stated. "Have you seen the size of my hips and Gajeel's head? I don't think I'm ready to push his big-headed spawn out of me yet! Maybe in a few years…"

"A few years?!" Porlyusica called. "How old do you think you are, girl? Your hipbones have gotten as big as they're ever going to get!"

Levy's lips trembled. "I'm going to die…" she mumbled under her breath.

At that moment, Erza left the bathroom and handed Porlyusica the cup full of… pee. "Do you require my presence here? I saw a child crying over a cat stuck on a tree on my way here. I promised her I would come back as soon as possible to help her freeing it."

"Go on, then. Be sure to come back in ten to fifteen minutes," the healer told her.

Erza nodded and walked out.

"Does she even know what the pee was for?" Lucy asked, sounding incredibly frustrated. "For all she knows, you could be trying to clone her."

Everybody shrugged and, after Porlyusica yelled at Juvia and Levy to get a move on, all four were kicked out of the house and told to wait outside for the results.

While Levy spent the whole time pacing fearfully, Juvia was floating around in her dream world, mumbling the words _Gray-sama _and _Ur-chan_ under her breath, apparently having already decided on a name for the hypothetical baby.

After the ten minutes passed, there was still no sign of the results and the girls were getting antsy.

"We could try peeking through the window," Levy suggested. "She's probably just making us suffer for kicks. The standard urine-based pregnancy test is very quick and easy to do. You just drop a powdered herb into a cup of pee and wait a few seconds. If it turns red, you're knocked up!"

"You talk as if you've done it before," Lisanna teased her.

Levy blushed. "I read about it in a book!"

"But the window is so far up…" Lucy sighed before turning to the water mage in the group. "Juvia, you can turn your body into water and use it to boost yourself up. I've seen you do it before."

The other woman covered her belly protectively. "Juvia doesn't think she should turn into water right now. It might hurt the baby."

"You don't even know if you're pregnant yet!"

"Juvia will not risk Gray-sama's potential child!" Juvia replied stubbornly.

The blonde sighed.

"I can give you a boost, princess," a male voice offered from nearby. All the girls turned around only to find Loke standing nearby, smiling charmingly.

"Where did you come from?!" Lucy demanded.

"I sensed you needed my services," he said seductively. "I will gladly provide you with the extra height you need."

"You just want to look up my skirt, you perverted lion!" his master accused.

"I would never…"

"Lisanna can turn into a bird and fly up there," Levy suggested.

"Oh, that's right!" the white-haired girl confirmed. "I'll take care of this one, Loke."

Loke pouted, dejectedly. "Can't blame a guy for trying," he mumbled before disappearing back into the Celestial world.

"Pervert," Lucy mumbled.

With him gone, Lisanna used her powers to grow a pair of wings and rose up several feet from the ground until she could peak through the window.

"Well? Can you see anything?" Levy asked.

"Give me a second," Lisanna replied at first, observing for a few more seconds. "Oh, I see the cups. One is red!"

Juvia let out a squeal of excitement while Levy paled.

"Is there any way to see who it belongs to?" Lucy asked, wrapping her arms around Levy's shoulders.

"There's something written on the side of the cups. I can't see what it is but wait." She paused and fully turned herself into some sort of bird of prey. Probably an eagle, considering they were known for their spectacular eyesight. Then, seconds later, she turned back into her winged human form, coming back down to the ground.

"Well?" Lucy urged her.

"The most I could see was an 'L' written on the side of the red cup," she told them.

It was enough. Only one of them had a name starting with an L. As such, Levy went very limp all of a sudden and would have toppled to the ground, were it not for Lucy holding her up. "Levy-chan!"

"I'm going to die! They're going to have to break my pelvis to get Gajeel's big-headed baby out! I need more time to grow!" she said dramatically.

But Juvia's reaction still managed to top hers. She fell on her knees dramatically and the sky thundered over them before it started to rain. "No! Juvia is barren! _Barren_! No!"

As the rain soaked them through, Porlyusica opened the door of her house and looked out, annoyed, as Wendy peaked from behind her, looking slightly fearful. "What the hell is all this noise for?!"

"They're just taking in the news a little badly," Lisanna said.

"What news? I haven't said anything yet."

"We may have… peeked," Lucy mumbled. "There was an 'L' on the side of the cup with the positive result. I guess Levy is…"

The woman scoffed. "As if I would ever recall you girls by name."

Levy looked up hopefully, the rain no longer falling on her as Wendy had used her magic to create an air barrier over the girls to protect them from the falling rain. "So 'L' is not for me?"

"No. 'KS' is."

"What is _that_ supposed to stand for?"

"Kid-Sized," the healer informed her as the rainfall started ceasing.

Levy was taken aback, looking offended. "I'm not that small!"

"You were just shouting that you needed more time to grow!" Carla pointed out.

"I was in shock!"

"So, who is 'L'?" Lucy asked. "Erza or Juvia?"

"Nobody is 'L'. It's 'LW', not 'L'. It stands for Loud Weirdo."

The sun shone brightly in the sky. "It's Juvia!" the girl in question shouted. "She must go and tell Gray-sama! But how…? Oh, Juvia knows! She will buy him a World's Best Dad T-shirt!"

Porlyusica cleared her throat. "Calm down, girl. It's not you either. You would be the 'Obsessive Nutjob', or 'ON'."

And so, Juvia slumped back down into despair, rain beginning to fall all over again.

"Wait," Lucy said. "So, if it's not Levy or Juvia, that leaves…"

Silence covered the immediate area around Porlyusica's house. Not even the birds dared to let out a chirp. It was only the sound of rain hitting the floor that they heard. It stayed like that for about a minute.

"What are you all standing in the rain for?" they heard a familiar voice enquiring. "You will catch a cold."

Everybody turned to the source with wide-eyes. There stood Erza carrying an umbrella she'd probably gotten out of her requip dimension. So blissfully unaware…

"Erza-san, why don't you come in?" Wendy said gently from the doorway. "We need to talk."

"Is there some sort of problem?" she inquired.

"Just go in," Lucy urged her. "You'll want to sit down for this."

"I'd rather not waste more time than necessary." Jellal was due back from a week-long job he'd taken with his team at any moment. One could say she'd missed him more than a little bit and was eager to… welcome him home. Intimately. "Whatever it is, you can tell me here."

Wendy looked nervous while all the other girls watched the scene with badly-disguised interest. "Erza-san… this really is a delicate matter…"

"You're pregnant," Porlyusica carelessly blurted out, causing some of the onlookers to whimper in sympathy for the pain of the verbal kick Erza had just received.

"I beg your pardon?" the knight asked, blinking rapidly.

"Did you really have to blurt it out like that?!" Lucy barked at the healer.

"Wouldn't have made her any less pregnant than she is," the pink-haired woman declared.

"You have horrid bedside manner!" the blonde accused.

Meanwhile, Erza stood, wide eyed. No one dared to approach her, fearful of the delayed reaction she might have. "Pregnant…" she mumbled.

"Yes, pregnant! Knocked up, expecting, in a family way, harboring a fugitive… The results of the test I made are very clear – you are gestating another useless human in your womb. Congratulations, I suppose."

Erza remained in mild shock for at least a minute until she cleared her throat and straightened her back, bizarrely restrained. "I see," she said.

Wendy couldn't take it anymore. "Erza-san, I am so sorry! So, so sorry!" she apologized miserably. "It's my fault but I swear I'll make it up to you! I'll babysit whenever you want to! No. I'll move in with you and Jellal-san to help you with the baby. Just please don't be angry at me. I didn't mean to mix up the herbs!"

The redhead blinked at the younger girl. The words came into her head through one ear and left through the other, leaving very little in the numbed-down brain in between.

"I will be on my way, then," Erza managed to say before turning on her heel and walking away without another word.

The other girls stared after her. "That was weird," Lucy commented. "Even by her standards."

"Do you think she's okay?" Lisanna asked, looking at the retreating woman.

"She's clearly in shock," Levy stated. "I mean, a baby… "

"Juvia wants a baby too," the forth woman moaned. "Ur-chan…"

The other three women sighed. Well, better Erza than them…

**To be continued...**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you all for your lovely reviews! Here comes chapter 2! I hope you all like it!**

**This chapters has references from the 'lolicon situation' from my fic 'Roleplay for Beginners'.**

"Ah, there you are!" Mira chirped when she saw the four girls entering the guild. "You've arrived just in time! I have an announcement to make. Who's missing?" she asked no one in particular.

"Wendy is busy with Porlyusica," Levy informed Mira, who nodded.

"Oh, that's okay. She and Porlyusica already know."

"No sign of Salamander's stink nearby either," Gajeel commented off-handedly, gnawing on a twisted piece of metal as Levy moved to sit by his side.

"I thought he said he was leaving to look for Lucy," Gray stated, turning to the girl in question. "Didn't you see him?"

She shook her head. "Not all afternoon," she replied. "He probably got distracted with something."

"Crime Sorcière is still on a job too," someone said.

"What about Erza?" Gray asked. "She's not here either."

The recently-arrived group of girls exchanged nervous looks. "Yeah… She's… indisposed. I don't think she'll be able to make it here for the announcement," Lucy said.

The white-haired woman smiled. "Oh, don't worry about it. Erza already knows too," she said with a smile.

"Erza knows, Wendy knows… Mavis, who else knows?" Cana asked, prompting Elfman, Lisanna, Laxus, the Master and the entire Raijinshuu to raise their hands. "What the hell kind of announcement is this when half the goddamn gild already knows about it?!"

"A truly wonderful one!" Mira stated, immune to the accusation. "Well, I don't think I can wait all day for the people still missing. They'll just have to hear it later. Laxus, do you mind if I do the honors?"

The blond Dragon Slayer gave his wife a look. "You mean there was a possibility _I _might do them?"

"Thank you," she said, ignoring the question. "As you all know, Laxus and I have been married for several months and like many married couples, we have been trying to conceive…"

"Wo-hoo! Mira-chan is having a baby!" Wakaba shouted from his seat.

"Maybe it'll be a girl who is as pretty as she is!" Macao declared.

Mira blushed. "Oh, you guys…" she said, a little embarrassed. "But, yes, it's true. I'm having a baby!"

At a table, Elfman wept openly despite having already known about Mira's pregnancy for nearly a day. "Big sis with a baby of her own," he wept. "It's just so wonderful."

Evergreen's eye twitched by his side. "Ladies and Gentleman, meet a real man," she said sarcastically.

"Says the girl who's dating him," Bickslow pointed out.

"Shut up! Where did you get that ridiculous idea?!"

"Real men don't hide their tears!"

Evergreen rolled her eyes, looking away.

But Elfman wasn't the only one feeling emotional. Behind a pillar, Juvia was standing wide-eyed, fuming hot-water vapor because 'everyone' was pregnant but her. _Why?! _She looked at her Gray-sama, sitting in his underwear at one of the tables, and stared, hoping his nakedness alone would somehow fix that fault.

"Is she alright?" Mira asked Lucy, noticing Juvia's demeanor.

Lucy took a breath. "She's just having one of those days," she said. "But congratulations, Mira. How far along are you?"

"Oh, something like a month," Mira said, sounding so, so happy. "I've been so excited since we started trying, taking tests every couple of weeks or so! Then one came positive and Porlyusica confirmed it for me. I know I should wait for the second trimester to tell in case something happens but I really want everybody to know! We're always there for each other through the good and the bad, right?"

"Of course! So, you've been really… trying?" the blonde asked, a little embarrassed. "It was nothing related to… say, a problem with your birth control or anything?"

"I haven't used birth control in months," the white-haired barmaid told her. "But why do you ask?"

"No reason!"

Across the bar, Cana banged her empty tankard on the table. Unacceptable! "Alright, guys! This calls for a free round!"

"Are you offering to pay?" Gray asked, amused.

"No – I'm offering to drink!"

"Alright, alright," the Master said. "Next round is on me! It's not every day one's great-grandchild's impending birth is announced. And that will be orange juice for you, Mira-chan," he said to his granddaughter-in-law, who smiled happily as she started gathering glasses.

"Great! Bring out the good stuff!" Cana demanded.

The Master waved his arms in alarm. "No, not the good stuff! I'm not that rich!"

Cana seemed crestfallen. "Alright, then bring me my share and Gildarts's – I'm sure my old man would want me to celebrate for him in his absence."

From his seat, Laxus chuckled. "Smooth, boozie," he commented.

"Shut up! Go build a crib or something, _Daddy_!"

The drinks were handed around by Kinana and Mira herself and, by the time everyone had a tankard in their hands (two, in Cana's case), Makarov stood up at the stage floor and raised his.

"Alright, brats, here's to the new generation of fairies, whose beginning we unfortunately weren't around to witness," the Master started, raising his glass to Asuka, who clapped happily. "And here's to the unborn future new member of Fairy Tail. May he or she be as strong and brave as his or her parents, inherit his or her mother's looks (especially if it's a her) and be as rowdy as the rest of us… maybe in a less destructive way, though."

"Bottoms up!" Cana shouted, pouring her own drinks into her mouth like she was drinking down from a fountain as the guild around her cheered and Elfman lifted his elder sister onto his shoulder.

Suddenly, as voices were still loud, none other than Natsu burst through the door with Happy on a tow.

"You bastards!" he shouted. "How come you didn't wait for me to start celebrating Erza having a kid?!"

"Aye!" Happy added. "She's our team mate!"

Everyone looked confused for a moment. The girls that had just returned from Porlyusica's, however, paled considerably instead. Could he… know?

"Natsu, you moron!" Gray shouted. "Mira is the one having a baby, not Erza!"

"Mira's having a baby?" Natsu asked, surprised.

"Yes!" the barmaid declared happily from her seat on Elfman's shoulder. "Laxus and I have been trying for a while."

"It's Laxus's too?" he asked, as if that wasn't at all predictable, given that they were married. "Cool! When can I fight it?"

"Never," Laxus replied, narrowing his eyes at him.

"Aw… killjoy. Maybe Erza will let me fight hers."

"Natsu," the Master said. "Where on Earthland did you get the idea that Erza is having a child?"

"From hearing Porlyusica telling her while I was looking for Lucy."

With those words, what seemed to be a typical Natsu mix-up, suddenly shifted into something believable. The whole guild went quiet… except for Mira, who let out a girlish scream as she fell from Elfman's shoulder right onto her angry husband's arms, her and Elfman having in their shock failed to hold onto one another.

A second passed and somebody exploded. Lucy. "You were spying on me?!" she demanded in disbelief.

"No, you weirdo – I was _looking_ for you. And then I found you but you seemed to be having a pretty serious conversation, so I decided just to wait," he said.

"And _listen,_" Lisanna accused her childhood friend. "That is _so rude_, Natsu!"

"It's not my fault I've got good hearing," he argued before snickering. "Hey, Metal Brain! Did you know Levy nearly lost it at the thought of your spawn's massive head ripping her apart down there? Ouch!"

"What?" the Iron Dragon Slayer asked in disbelief before turning to his girlfriend. "Shrimp, you're knocked up?"

"No!" she shouted before turning to glare at Natsu with a fervor that seemed out of place on her. She got up and stalked over to the Fire Dragon Slayer. "Natsu! You idiot!" And then, she clocked him across the face with her bag, which caught him enough by surprise to make him topple over.

"Gray-sama," Juvia said, clinging to the ice-mage's arm. "Juvia did not get pregnant like Erza-san did… But if Gray-sama wants, we can start trying _right now_."

"What? No way! I'm not ready for kids!" Gray shouted. "And why did you sound so disappointed just now?"

Bickslow laughed nearby. "I'd start investing on rubbers right now if I were you," he said.

"Rubbers! Rubbers!" his babies repeated.

"Wait, so Erza _really_ has one in the oven?" Cana asked, confused.

The girls looked at each other, between a rock and a hard place. They could neither confirm nor deny. Natsu, however…

"Yeah. Apparently, Wendy did it," Natsu said as he got up from the floor, much to everyone's disbelief. "Which sounds a bit weird to me because the way Gildarts explained it, it sounded like it was guys who got girls pregnant. Oh, well, it might just be a Dragon Slayer thing…"

"It's not a Dragon Slayer thing, you idiot!" Lucy shouted. "Wendy made a mistake with our birth control and as a result, Erza got pregnant. Wendy is really upset about it, so don't mention it around her!"

"Oh," Natsu said. "That makes more sense."

There were about twenty seconds of silence.

"Erza with a kid," Laxus mumbled. "Weird."

"Not any weirder than _you_ with one, brat," the Master pointed out. "With Mira, of all people. It's like the cross between an angel and a demon. With _you_ being the demon rather than her."

"Quiet down, Geezer."

"I think she'll make a great mother," Bisca stated. "She's a bit strange but at the end of the day, there's no one with a bigger heart in this guild than her."

"Having kids is manly!"

Evergreen whacked him with her fan. "Stop saying that!"

"Oh, how wonderful!" Mira said, clasping her hands together by her heart with a big smile. "Erza and I are both having babies at the same time. They'll grow up together as friends!"

Macao snickered in his seat. "I foresee rivalry in the future."

"Between the moms or the kids?" Wakaba asked.

"Too early to tell."

"Who do you think it will resemble the most? Erza or Jellal?" somebody asked.

"Oh, I get it," Natsu suddenly said. "So _Jellal_ is the daddy. That makes sense 'cause he and Erza are totally doing _it_. And _it_ is how babies are supposed to be made!" He snickered like a kid, turning to Laxus. "You're totally doing Mira."

The Thunder Dragon Slayer seemed unimpressed. "Congratulations, Moron. You've managed to conclude that a married couple tends to bang on a regular basis. Feel free to collect your lollipop reward from the empty space where the remainder of your brain should have been."

"Hey! You calling me stupid?!" he asked, ready to fight.

"_Natsu!_" came a warning shout from near Laxus. The Master stood on the bar, glaring at the Dragon Slayer. "Do not even try to start a fight right now! And what were you thinking rushing in here announcing to everybody who can hear that Erza is expecting? What if Jellal had been here? He should hear it from her, Natsu, not you."

"But Jellal is out on a job."

"He's due back any time now," Mira pointed out.

As if on cue, Fairy Tail's own Team Crime Sorcière chose that exact moment to arrive from their latest mission, their voices coming from outside.

"… _I'm just saying Erik, you need to be careful with these things. Meredy could have gotten really hurt_," they heard Jellal saying outside.

"_It was a water bottle!_"

"_Full of bleach, which Meredy almost drank by mistake!_"

"_I'm a Poison Dragon Slayer! You should know by now not to touch the stuff I drink because it will probably be the last thing you do!"_

"_It was my bad, Jellal. I mixed up our bags_."

"_Still. He needs to start labeling things or at least not to put poisonous stuff inside supposedly harmless containers like water bottles or salt shakers, which is where he keeps his Arsenic powder!_"

"_It's for seasoning!"_

"_It's deadly!"_

"Goddamnit! Fine, next time I'll make a point of drawing a big ass skull on the side of the container," Cobra replied, his tone full of sarcasm as they stepped through the door. "Would that do, boss?"

"Actually, it would," Jellal informed him before turning to face the guild. He was a little taken aback when he saw everyone apparently staring at him. "Sorry, were we being too loud?" he asked.

Mirajane smiled, shaking her head. "Not at all," she told him.

And still, everyone kept staring.

"Holy Shit," Cobra said, everyone's thoughts reaching into his mind at once. He turned around and stared at the completely unknowing Jellal for a moment before snickering sadistically and walking away, towards the bar, where Kinana awaited. The blue-haired idiot wouldn't even know what had hit him…

"Is there something on my face?" Jellal asked, suddenly self-conscious due to all the staring.

"You mean aside from the usual?" Laxus replied, gesturing to the general side of his face containing his tattoo.

"Right," he mumbled. "So, is Erza around?"

The staring people around him either shook their heads or said the word 'no'. Then, again, they kept on staring. What on Earthland?

Makarov cleared his throat. "Alright, everybody, I know it's been a long mission…" not even the longest they'd ever taken "… and that we've missed our comrades but let's all just welcome them back and mind our own business."

That seemed to snap most people out of their staring mood and prompted them to mumble echoed 'welcome backs' to them.

"So, how did your mission go?" Mira asked, pleasant as always.

"Really well!" Meredy said brightly. "We ended up taking down two dark guilds rather than just one! Apparently they were colluding with each other and the Rune Knights were actually useful in apprehending them this time. Doranbolt was really happy about it. He's got to make a good impression now – a bunch of parenting networks are still going grizzly on him even though he was acquitted of that whole Lolicon misunderstanding."

Makarov sighed. "Well, it was quite the misunderstanding. But good job, all of you."

While Meredy went to take a seat at the counter and was quickly joined there by a mournful Juvia, Jellal couldn't help still feeling like he was still being stared at. He was right. Not twenty feet away, Natsu was looking at him with narrowed eyes as he scratched his chin.

"Are you alright, Natsu?" he asked the Dragon Slayer.

"Yeah… I was just thinking."

"What about?"

"Hair."

Jellal raised his eyebrows. "Hair?"

"Yeah. Say, if you and Erza were to have a…"

"_Gajeel, get him!"_ he heard none other than Levy demanding of her boyfriend.

The Iron Dragon Slayer was quite happy to comply. His fist extended into a massive metal pole in a matter of a second, which hit Natsu right in the face, sending him flying for several feet against a wall.

"_You Iron Bastard_!" Natsu shouted, unfazed. "_Fire Dragon's…_"

Jellal took a few steps back. The guild was a tad too odd for him that day (not that, deep down, that didn't delight him – he was just a little tired). "I think I'm heading home," he announced to no one in particular, motioning to turn around.

"Alright! See you later!" Mira happily waved him off.

"Take good care of our Erza when you see her," Cana told him.

"And congratulations!" That one was Bickslow, whose helmet was quickly hit by Evergreen's fan, a clang echoing through the guild.

"He means congratulations for a mission accomplished," Freed provided. "It's no easy job, taking down dark guilds."

"Right," Jellal mumbled. "Thanks."

And so, he was out of there, walking out into the darkening streets, now mostly illuminated by the public lights.

Could his day possibly get any stranger? The answer came not five minutes later when he walked into Wendy on the way home. When he warmly greeted her, as he always did, the young Dragon Slayer started apologizing for Mavis-knew-what before running away in tears, followed by a scolding Carla. He was starting to think that he might have been hit by some sort of weird spell that made people randomly act in a strange way towards him.

He reached home in a matter of minutes and found the house silent as he opened the door. When he turned on the lights, however, he nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw Erza inside, sitting down on the couch, her arms wrapped around her legs as she stared, wide-eyed, into nothing.

"Erza? What on Earthland were you doing sitting in the dark?" he asked, dumping his duffle bag on the floor and making his way to her.

She didn't respond, causing him to frown as he sat by her side.

"Erza?" he called again. "Are you alright?"

One more time, she didn't respond. He waved a hand in front of her eyes and she didn't react at all. What the hell was going on?

"Erza, you're starting to scare me," he told her.

More silence. Alarmed, he touched her forehead, wondering if she was sick. She felt fine. Still, he wasn't completely sure she wasn't sick.

"Listen, Erza, I think I'm going to get Porlyusica to take a look at you," he told her.

That finally got a reaction out of her. She thrust out her hand and held onto his sleeve. "No."

He frowned. "Erza, you're acting really strange. I think you might be sick."

"I'm not," she replied.

Jellal frowned, not believing her. She'd had the same reaction a few months before when she was down with the flu. She'd denied any sickness for hours despite nearly hacking up a lung as she did so. As such, he was prepared to ignore her denial… that was, up until she said the next part.

"I'm pregnant."

He was silent, staring at her. It was, without exaggeration, a full minute before he spoke again. "You're what?"

"Pregnant," she repeated.

"As in…"

"With child," she confirmed.

He turned away from her and sunk against the back of the couch, doing the same thing she'd been doing up until his arrival: staring blankly into nothingness. No word was said in that house for the next half hour as the news sunk in.

Erza was pregnant. They were having a baby. He was going to be a father.

…

Dear Mavis.

**To be continued...**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: This is, by far, my least favorite chapter of the story. It just feels like it's missing something, not just because it's the shortest. Hope you'll like it, anyway**

** Next chapter is the last one, then the epilogue...**

"How did this happen?" Jellal asked at some point… minutes, maybe hours after Erza announced that they had a baby on the way. He'd mostly lost his sense of time the moment she uttered the word 'pregnant'.

In usual circumstances, Erza would have called him on the dumb question and pointed out that it had happened the usual way. However, that time she didn't. "I believe Wendy had something to do with it."

He frowned. "Wendy? Wendy got you pregnant?"

She turned to him and that time he didn't escape the 'are you brain damaged?' look. "Considering Wendy is a girl, I assume _you_ got me pregnant after she somehow damaged my birth control."

"Oh," he mumbled. "That makes more sense."

The next silence lasted little more than minute.

"How are you feeling?" he asked. "Do you have any… symptoms?"

She shook her head. "Nothing in particular. I wouldn't even know something might be going on, had Porlyusica not called me over."

He nodded. A baby… Children were something he hadn't dared hope for in a long time. If being with Erza still felt like something out of a dream, a family of their own felt so far out of the realm of possibility that he had no idea what to do with himself. "And… how do you feel about it?"

"Terrified," she confessed. She wasn't averse to the idea of children… she just hadn't been prepared for children to come _now._ She'd been thinking they'd come in the future – a distant, distant future when she would have progressed to a point of being absolutely ready to handle them. When would that be? Who knew? Maybe half a century away… surely by them humanity's longevity and technology would have progressed to that point. But half a century away had turned into 'right then and there' and she felt like someone had dropped her into a dark labyrinth and told her to fend for herself.

"Yeah," Jellal mumbled. "That makes two of us."

Somehow, hearing that made her feel a little less scared. Of course it did. His words reminded her that the labyrinth she felt like she'd been dropped into wasn't the sort she had to cross by herself but instead with Jellal by her side, even if he seemed as clueless as she felt about it. At least they were in the same boat.

As such, she was completely free to state just how massively freaked out she felt at the moment. "Oh my god, Jellal. We are having a _child_," she said, her tone positively horrified. "A living, breathing child."

"I know," he mumbled, equally flabbergasted.

"A _baby_. The only human baby I have ever interacted with was Romeo," she mumbled. "He got scared whenever he saw me and Mira because we were always fighting around him. He grew out of it but still… I _scare_ small children! _How can I be a mother when I scare small children?!_"

"Well, let's not exaggerate," he had to argue. "You scared a small child when you were a child yourself. You do just fine with kids these days. Asuka likes you." He paused for a moment, suddenly not sure. "She does, doesn't she?"

"Why are you offering that as proof when you don't even know if it's a fact?!" she demanded.

"I'm almost certain it is! But it doesn't matter. At least you have been around babies before. As for me… I don't think I have ever been within ten feet of any living being younger than a year old," he informed her, sounding very, very… fearful? "And it was probably for the best. I mean, babies are so small when they're younger than that. And breakable. And they have that… that thing…"

Erza frowned. "What thing?"

"That spot on their heads. The one that's like a self-destruct button," he explained.

"What?!" she asked in alarm.

"I don't remember where I heard of it but I'm sure I have," he said. "If you press it, it could… you know!"

"Kill them?"

"Yes!"

She looked positively horrified. "That's preposterous! How do parents allow their babies go around without a helmet on, then?"

The fact that he found that a perfectly reasonable question should have made alarm bells concerning his current state of mind sound in Jellal's head.

"We can't be the first people to come up with that idea!" she said.

He looked thoughtful. "I guess that does give us an edge over everybody else…"

"We need to write that down," Erza announced. "'Get the baby a helmet'. Where's pen and paper?" She pushed a stack of books and magazines onto the floor in her search for writing supplies.

"I've got it," Jellal announced, having gotten up from the couch and gone to fetch a notebook and a pencil from the drawer where he usually kept them.

"Good. Baby helmet – write it down. We need to remember it!"

He did. Later, much later, he would come to look at that list they were about to devise and think them insane and their minds most likely the biggest danger their child would be exposed to in its infancy.

"What else should we write down?" he asked, looking at Erza. And just like that, without even noticing it, they had moved on from the 'panicking' phase to the 'planning' one

Erza looked around. "I don't know, there's so much to do…"

"Baby proofing?" he suggested. "Babies get everywhere, right? Who knows what trouble this one might get into if we don't sweep the house."

Erza nodded. "You're right. How long does it take for them to become mobile? A month? Two? Oh, who am I kidding – this is _our_ child. It will be weeks at best!"

Never had her lack of knowledge concerning babies been more obvious. Even Jellal could see that. "I think it takes longer than tha…" But suddenly, he went quiet and his face went very, very blank.

"What is it?" Erza asked, noticing his paleness.

"This house is a death trap," he mumbled. "You have an entire arsenal in the basement. You leave weapons lying everywhere – I nearly stabbed myself with a dagger that had somehow slipped between the couch cushions last week."

"I told you that wasn't my fault! Someone knocked on the door while I was doing my weekly polishing and I must have dropped it there!" she stated, as if that made the incident any less dangerous. "It could happen to anybody. Aren't people always finding loose change in their sofas?"

He refrained himself from pointing out that there was a big difference between a fistful of coins and a cutting object that had nearly cost him his behind. "Still, Erza. We are using a trident as a coat hanger!" he added, gesturing to the spot by the door where, indeed, an old, mostly blunt trident-shaped weapon of Erza's was poking out of the umbrella stand, two coats and several scarves hanging from it. "You realize this has got to change, right? I've never been near a baby and even I can tell that small, fragile human being plus sharp, possibly deadly, weapon doesn't equal a positive result."

Erza pursed her lips but, after a few seconds, nodded, sounding equally concerned. "You have a point. I need to start paying better attention to this and keep all my weaponry in the basement."

"And to find a better lock for it too to keep those arms and armor out of reach," Jellal added, already writing it down. Suddenly, Erza gasped and, alarmed, Jellal looked up from the notebook. "What? What is it? Is it the baby?!"

Her lip trembled.

"Erza?!" he insisted, desperately needing an answer.

"I'm going to get fat," she muttered.

He blinked several times. What? She was just realizing that? But wait, no. That wasn't good – from the many, many years he'd spent travelling while outnumbered by women, he had come to learn that he should never, _ever_ allow a woman to think herself 'fat'. That might just cost him his life (as he had come to learn from a near-miss with Ultear, when she had asked him if her new leotard made her look chubby and he'd replied with a non-commitant grunt, not at all interested in playing attention to the curves of someone who might as well be a sister to him – she had, unfortunately, taken his silence for a 'yes' and as a result he still bore the mental and physical scars).

"Of course you're not. You'll be pregnant – sure, that means the baby will… poke out a little…" (probably more than a little) "… but I wouldn't describe it as 'fat' like when you're out of shape. Just… bigger. In a flattering way!" he quickly added, half-expecting her to lash out at the word, which she didn't do. "I'm sure you'll still be beautiful – absolutely beautiful the way you always are. Maybe even more so," he reassured her in a sweet, yet cheesy manner.

But she was hardly even listening. Because it wasn't the possibility that she'd look more or less pretty due to her pregnancy that was concerning her. It was… "I won't fit into my armor anymore," she said, in a wide-eyed whisper.

Jellal paused. "What?"

"My armor. I can't fit in it with a pregnant belly… Well, maybe some of it like the Robe of Yuen or the Sea Empress Armor but almost everything else is slim fit. I can't even eat a big lunch before getting into the Giant Armor without it becoming terribly uncomfortable!"

Which he found ironic at the least. "Erza, calm down. Forget the armor," he told her. She looked at him as if he'd told her to chop off her own arm. That quickly changed his mind. "… armor's problem! I meant 'forget the armor's problem'! Because I'm sure you'll find a solution in no time! You're smart like that." Oh, god, that sounded just pitiful…Her expression became less intense and he sighed in relief. Whew…

"Your confidence is touching, Jellal, but most of my armor cannot be altered like that without being compromised," she stated. "I will have to go to Heart Kreuz as soon as possible and order new models."

Jellal frowned. "They make pregnancy armor at Heart Kreuz?" he asked in disbelief.

"If they don't, they will start now! I'm not going around unarmored with an absolutely defenseless child within me," she stated before getting up.

If it were anyone else saying that, he probably wouldn't have believed it, but being Erza… She was a steamroller. There was just no stopping her when she had her mind set on something without getting severely stomped on in the process.

"What are you waiting for?" his girlfriend's asked. When his mind stopped wandering, he noticed she wasn't sitting with him on the couch anymore, having instead moved to the front door of the house, which she was holding open.

"Wait, you want to go _right now_?" Jellal asked in disbelief.

She looked at him like he was demented. "Of course! Armor isn't anything like ready-to-wear clothing. It needs time and planning… and often it requires a lot of searching for special alloys and items. The earlier I order it, the better."

He gestured to the door. "But… but it's…"

"God, Jellal, just hurry up!" she said in exasperation before impatiently walking out. He simply sat there, staring at the door. He didn't even bother getting up because he knew for a fact she wouldn't go far. In fact, he could actually count down the seconds until she returned.

Three… two… one…

And she came back in. "It's dark outside. Heart Kreuz won't be open at this hour," she said, having just realized it.

"That's what I was trying to point out…" he informed her.

She looked away, a little embarrassed. "Well, you could have done it faster," she mumbled stubbornly.

He simply rolled his eyes. "I'll just add 'get new armor' to the list," he declared, writing it down.

"Yes. The list…" she muttered in a vacant tone.

He looked up from the notebook to find her still standing at the door, looking suddenly pensive. Concerned, he put it down and got up, making his way to her. "Erza…"

"We have a list," she said when he reached her. "Because we are having a baby." It still felt unreal, even though they'd been basically discussing the logistics of it for the past few minutes.

"Yes," he confirmed, standing mere inches away.

"We're really doing this. Even though we didn't plan it and we are nowhere near ready or prepared."

He was thinking of the very same thing. Still, he couldn't stand the look of fear in her eyes, therefore he reassured her, even though he was yet to be completely sure himself. "We have time to get ready until the baby comes… if you want to," he said tentatively.

"I want to." Mavis knew she did. She was still terrified, there was no denying, but she was Erza Scarlet and for her fear often came hand-in-hand with excitement. "We can do this, right?"

He wished he knew. "I hope so," he replied. "Like, I said, we still have a few months to prepare. In fact, do you know how far along you…?"

"I have no idea," she responded.

"We should probably have that looked at," he pointed out.

"Yes," she agreed.

They were quiet for a moment, just looking at each other. Then slowly, but surely, a smile started to grace Erza's face. First tentative, then bright… so, so bright. There was this thing about her smiles, her real, unrestrictedly happy smiles – they were like the sunrise. They shone and, before he knew it, his world had completely lit up, making him set every worry aside just for that moment and smile back.

She took a step forward and wrapped her arms around his neck. "We are having a baby."

He smiled at her and then reached forward, placing a kiss at the top of her head. "We are having a baby," he repeated.

He allowed himself to feel bliss like he had never felt before – bliss that guilt rarely ever allowed him to experience. But that didn't mean the guilt (that ever-present guilt over his past that he wouldn't escape until his death day) was gone. He had simply, subconsciously, told it to wait for tomorrow.

And it would be waiting. Oh, yes, it would.

**To be continued...**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Well, this chapter takes a bit of a darker turn. Not *that* dark, though! Just Jellal being Jellal...**

The following morning, Jellal woke up on a disarray of a bed.

It appeared both he and Erza had fallen asleep fully dressed and on top of the covers surrounded by half a dozen books. It took him picking up one of said books and reading the title for everything to come back to him: he and Erza were having a baby.

_Oh, god._ For a moment, he couldn't breathe. It felt like the ceiling had come crashing down on him.

It was all hitting him at once. The price for having pushed all the negative feelings creeping in the shadows the previous night even though he'd known there was no escaping them in the long-term. All he'd wanted was to be happy for the baby on that one night. And so, he'd been happy. Scared too, yes, but happy regardless.

He and Erza had talked, then they had gone to Porlyusica's for a check-up. After a series of teary apologies and subsequent reassurances, Wendy, who had been there picking up something she'd left behind, had kept him company while he waited for Porlyusica to examine his girlfriend, given that the older woman had made a point of locking him out. He'd taken up the young Dragon Slayer's offer to let him borrow the books on pregnancy that she'd taken from the library, in preparation for Mirajane's care for the following months, and spent the majority of the night going over them with Erza and severely expanding their to-do list.

All had been well up until that morning. Now all he could think of was the fact that he, Jellal Fernandes, was getting everything he wanted – a life with Erza, a family with her – after everything wrong that he had done. How Simon, whose life he had taken, likely had wanted the very same things but he would never get a chance to have them with Erza or anybody else for that matter. And how he, oh-so-selfishly had completely put aside the mere possibility of walking away from all that happiness for the sake of punishment because, by the gods, he wanted it. This happiness. So, _so _badly.

He took a deep breath and glanced at Erza, sleeping by his side blissfully unaware of his turmoil. His eyes drifted down to her midriff, still completely flat, and thinking of the baby sent another pang through his heart.

His worries didn't end with his guilt. He was going to love his child with every fiber of his being. He would do whatever it took to be a good father to it even if it involved sacrificing his life for it. But he knew that one day, sooner or later, he was going to have to explain to it all the horrible things he had done in the past. And he knew that meant that he was going to spend the next few years loving that baby while hoping beyond reason that it wouldn't grow to hate him when that time came because if it did, it would kill him.

With that thought in his mind, he rubbed his face with his hands and shook his head. Truth as it may be, he needed to stop thinking of that. If Erza had even an inkling of what was going through his mind, she'd be upset and upsetting her was the last thing he wanted right now.

Unable to lay down any longer, he got off the bed, careful not to wake her up, and made his way to the bathroom, hoping a shower would clear his mind.

It didn't – not really. The idea that his child could grow to hate him wasn't something one just shook off at will.

Upon returning to the room, he found that Erza had already greedily expanded her domain onto his side of the bed and was curled into a ball while clutching onto his pillow possessively. On approach, he concluded that the position might give away the fact that she was feeling a bit cold, given the goosebumps on her arm, which prompted him to go fetch a spare blanket from the closet and tuck it around her since there was no hope of getting her under the bedcovers without waking her up.

She didn't stir, so out she was, even though the clock indicated it was past ten in the morning and she tended to wake up much earlier than that with an almost militaristic precision. For a moment, he sat on the edge of the bed for a moment, watching her sleep (creepily, Meredy would have said). He had to wonder if it was the pregnancy already messing with her body – he hadn't been around for the past few days, so he couldn't tell if it had been a recurring thing or simply a result of their nightly studies on parenthood. According to Porlyusica, Erza was around five weeks along, which meant the baby had already been there the previous week when he'd left on his job and the one before, when she and her team had flattened yet another town. It was strange to know that – it caused both joy and apprehension to spread through his veins.

"You always make me want to be so selfish…" he whispered to her, brushing a loose strand of hair away from his girlfriend's face.

She sighed in her sleep and cuddled further into his pillow. It looked like she was going to be out for a while. While he wanted her to get her rest, that wasn't good for him. He felt as if he was swimming in a sea of guilt and terror – dangerous thoughts to have when there wasn't anyone around to keep him from drowning in them. As such, he got up, deciding to go out into town for a while where he would, hopefully, find something to distract him while Erza rested.

Maybe he could go to the bakery. He imagined Erza would like to wake up to a breakfast featuring all her favorite strawberry-favored treats, even if he was aware of how much of a blatant overcompensation that just happened to be. He left a note on his pillow letting her know he'd be back with breakfast soon in case she woke up and then, placing a kiss on her cheek, left the room.

It was a five-minute walk to reach the edge of town, since he and Erza lived just outside of it in a cottage not far from Porlyusica's home (tree?) or even Natsu's shack. It was quiet, yet not too far from their friends and they had found shortly after having moved in that it suited them perfectly. It occurred to him that, given that aside from the room they shared there were still two spare ones, their living conditions wouldn't have to be one of the things they needed to change, what with the baby's upcoming arrival.

Such a thought made him sigh. Excitement and fear, guilt and pride… Why did they always have to walk in pairs? Why couldn't it just be easy? Erza deserved easy. She deserved everything but he was yet unable to give it to her, no matter how hard he tried, no matter how happy the life he had with her made him. He was always hesitating, always putting the brakes on.

God knew he'd been attempting to ask her to marry him for months and never succeeding because there was always _something_… always a thought that she deserved better, always the feeling that his happiness was an affront to Simon. He'd wanted proposing to her to be _his _step – the one he took by beating his own hesitation and did without having to be pushed into it –, which meant that now that there was a baby involved, he'd have to put the proposal plans off a little longer, or else he'd risk turning it into something with less meaning. Just another 'we're having a baby, so I guess we should get married proposal'. No. Not a chance.

As he remained lost in thought, his feet guided him to the bakery on instinct, given how often he went there on Erza's behalf. He didn't even have to order for them to get the cake in the oven and ask him if he was there to get Erza's 'breakfast special' – code for a series of large servings of strawberry waffles, strawberry muffins, strawberry milkshake, strawberry syrup and whatever else strawberry-flavored they had lying around except for pie, which she hated with a fervor, for whatever reason. (Later, it would occur to him that the baby could only either be born loving strawberries or absolutely detesting them due to the overexposure).

He was told that everything would be ready in twenty minutes, cake included (however they planned to achieve that, he had no idea – they likely always had everything half-ready for Erza, given her status as the main patron of their establishment) and that he could wait at a table in a mean time.

Only five of those minutes were spent on his own.

"Someone looks thoughtful," a familiar, mischievous voice stated.

He blinked, only to find Meredy suddenly sitting opposite him at the table. "Where did you come from?" he asked, surprised.

"The door, like everyone else," she said. "I saw you sitting here through the window and thought you looked lonely. I wondered if you had something you wanted to share with a loyal companion who, by all means, is practically family."

He raised an eyebrow. "Are you fishing for something?"

"I don' know. Is there something I should be fishing for?" she questioned.

He just looked at her blankly.

"Maybe a tiny little fish in the pond? Just a tadpole, really…" the pink-haired girl prompted.

He stared for another ten seconds. And then, his eyes widened as the truth hit him. "Oh my god, you _know_." She knew about the baby. But how? Why? When?

She furrowed her brows. "Know? Know what exactly?" she asked, feigning ignorance.

"You _know_ what," he said. It was clear to him she was playing coy.

"Do I? You see, smart girl that I am, I know many, _many_ things, so I couldn't possibly guess which one you are referring to," she stated. "It wouldn't be right for me to directly speak of some of the things I know unless you confirm that you already know about them. I wouldn't want to ruin one of the most defining moments in your relationship with Erza."

He gaped. She knew. She most definitely knew. And now she was just baiting him. "You just want me to say it."

"Say what?" Meredy asked innocently.

He glared. They were wasting time – that left him little choice. He lowered his tone, eyes open to check if anyone's attention was on them. "Erza is pregnant. Happy?"

"Yes!" the pink-haired girl shouted, all but throwing herself at him over the table and enveloping him in a bone-crushing hug that warranted them a few stares by the shop personnel and the clients. Thankfully, Meredy (with her weakness for all things chocolate) was nearly as much of a regular as Erza was and the familial relationship between them was widely known in the bakery, which served to avoid unfortunate misunderstandings. When she pulled back, she pinched his cheeks in a patronizing way. "Oh, you fertile little devil, you!" she teased. "Congratulations!"

"Meredy! Get off!" he groaned, pushing her off, back to her seat.

She pouted. "Aren't you a grumpy butt today… don't tell me you're not happy about it!"

He sighed. "I am happy. But…"

"But?! No buts, you big moron! This is the best thing that could have ever happened to you," Meredy told him firmly. "Be honest with yourself, Jellal. You've loved Erza since you were kids and you're so much of a family man it's not even funny."

"Meredy…"

"It's true! You're a total dad! Don't you hear yourself sometimes?" she cleared her throat, trying to make her voice lower. "'_Meredy, don't abuse your sensory links to mess with people's heads/Mirajane is a bad influence on you', 'Cobra, label your poisons/don't curse so much/ stop threatening people', 'Erza, if you're going to get that much cake for dessert, then at least eat some vegetables with your main course/oh, never mind – I get off on you stuffing your face/you're so perfect I can't find anything else to scold you for/I'm so wrapped around your little finger that I might just wear a collar for you'._"

"Hey, now! I never said that!"

She ignored him. "You even did it with Ultear and she was older than you, remember?_ 'Don't treat me like I'm a girl too/stop using your transformation magic to seduce random guys at every town we stop in/you're making a bad example for Meredy'_."

"She was out of control! Remember how that lovesick guy followed her and found us out? The Rune Knights were a step behind us for nearly a month!"

"You are _such_ a dad," Meredy repeated herself, ignoring his argument. "No, let me correct myself: you are such a _mom_."

He just groaned.

"It's true!" she insisted. "And I mean it in a good way: if you're half as good at parenting that kid as you are with us grownups, it will be a happy one for sure."

"Meredy…"

"So, why the hell are there 'buts' involved in this?!"

He sighed. "It's complicated."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, god, this is your guilt complex acting up again, isn't it?" she said, sounding like she was tired of it. "You _idiot!_ I am warning you now just so you know: if you use that as an excuse to make a run for it like some sleazy deadbeat dad, I am siding with Erza when she finds you and kills you. In fact, I may actually help her with that."

He frowned. "I am _not_ running. I would never do that to Erza."

She actually looked relieved. "_Good_. You stick to that."

"I will," he promised, meaning every word. He sighed. "I am happy about this – starting a family with Erza is… beyond anything I would have hoped for. And as guilty as I may feel about this, I've never been more willing to be selfish about it than I am right now. But that doesn't mean things still aren't complicated."

"How?" she asked. He gave her a look and she continued. "Seriously. Explain it to me like I'm five, so I can go ahead and explain to you in return in how many different ways you're being ridiculous."

"I'm not," he assured her.

"Well, then indulge me, anyway!"

He sighed and, because he couldn't find an excuse to bolt and he knew Meredy wouldn't leave him alone until he'd done it, he told her: he told her of his fear that one day his child would hate him, one day his actions might somehow hurt it… he said it all.

And, so, by the end, Meredy didn't look impressed or even touched for that matter. She merely regarded him with narrowed eyes… and then, kicked him under the table so hard that he yelped loudly enough to have most heads in the bakery turning to them.

"Ouch! What are you doing?!"

"Trying to kick stupidity out of you!" the pink-haired girl remarked, trying to kick him again but this time failing.

"Well, stop!"

She glared. "You're a moron."

"I'm a moron because I have legitimate concerns of the future?" he countered. "About something that has a real possibility of happening?"

"So what? Loads of things have real possibilities of happening but you don't think of them every day. For instance, do you wake up every day and worry about the fact that you're dying?"

His eyes widened. "What on Earthland are you talking about?!"

"I'm talking about the fact that you're dying. You, me, Erza, everybody in Fairy Tail, everybody in this bakery… hell, everybody in this world," she said. "It's the surest thing you have when you're born – that one day you'll die. But you don't spend every day moping over it, do you? You live. So, if you don't spend every day moping over something that is pretty serious and one-hundred percent sure to happen, why the hell should you be ruining one of the happiest moments of your life by focusing on something that has maybe a ten percent chance of happening?"

He frowned. "Ten percent? Where did you get that number from?"

"I made it up."

"You can't do that!" he stated.

"_You _can't. _I_ can," she replied stubbornly.

He gaped. "What?! That doesn't…"

"I forgave Ultear," she said, interrupting him. That seemed to shut him up. "She destroyed my home town and killed everybody I knew. Sure, she'd been manipulated by Master Hades for years but it's not like she could argue that she'd been brainwashed like you were. And I still forgave her because she was the only family I knew and she showed me nothing but kindness in all the years we spent together."

"Most people wouldn't see it like that," he said.

"_You_ did – you forgave Ul too even though she basically ruined your life. And Erza as well, since she never tried to kill her despite knowing all about it," Meredy argued. "I'd say that baby comes from a background of pretty forgiving hearts. Just be a good dad to it… you know, by not being the moron who lurks in the background counting the days his kid snaps. And don't let it hear what happened from someone other than yourself because, let me tell you from experience, that's the _worst. _And, for god's sake, make sure you have someone with you when you tell it the whole story because you have the worst case of reverse bias I have ever seen! All blame and no redeeming circumstances, as far as you're concerned."

He sighed. "You make it sound far too easy."

"Well, maybe I do because it is!" she stated. "It takes spending ten minutes with you to see you wouldn't hurt a fly unless you had to. You made mistakes and owned up to them! Even Kagura doesn't want to kill you anymore, not that she still doesn't hold some sort of an understandable grudge. You underestimate how forgivable you are. So, get over this senseless issue already because I want to change the subject. You're making me sound all wise and mature and I don't like it. I'd rather be cute." And, just to make her point, she made what was supposed to be an adorable pout.

Although part of him didn't want to accept the matter as 'solved' through such a simplistic logic, he couldn't help admitting that Meredy's hope had raised his hopes more than just a little bit.

"Now, where are the waitresses?" she asked, looking around. "I want to order a milkshake!"

"I don't know… maybe they were scared away by you _physically assaulting me under the table_," he reminded her with a glare.

She glared back. "Well, that's your own fault for getting me mad and making me ruin my cute reputation! In fact, I deserve to be compensated for that, so you're paying for my milkshake," she shamelessly declared.

"What?!"

"Stop complaining. You owe me. A real shrink would charge more than a milkshake. Way more. Actually, you know what? I think I'm taking one of those gigantic triple-chocolate muffins too."

"That's not a healthy breakfast," he pointed out, feeling stung but somewhat resigned to the fact that he did, indeed owe her.

She gaped. "I don't want to hear that from you!" Meredy declared. "I bet the only reason why you come to this place was to feed your _pregnant_ girlfriend's strawberry addiction, you shameless enabler. At this rate, your kid will be born with green hair and bright red skin with little seeds attached to it, you know?"

He looked away, a bit ashamed because, yes, he might be a bit of an enabler to Erza's unhealthy eating habits, only commenting on the every once in a while. He honestly needed to do something about it for the sake of the baby.

A few seconds later, a waitress finally braved the way towards their table and Meredy put in her order, actually ordering _two_ muffins rather than one, as if to just piss him off. It was while she did so that something occurred to him.

"You never did say how you knew about the baby," he remarked as the waitress walked away.

"Oh, that's an easy one. A little pink-haired, fire-breathing dragon heard Porlyusica breaking the news to Erza and then announced it to everyone in the guild hall," Meredy said, sounding extremely amused. "I wasn't actually there when it happened but the story seemed pretty funny when they told me second-hand."

Jellal stared, his mind blank for a moment. "Wait. You are telling me that everyone in Fairy Tail already knows about the… baby?!" he asked, his voice lowering at the last word so nobody else would hear.

"Of course not!" Meredy replied easily. "Gildarts Clive has been out on a job since forever – he couldn't possibly have heard of it yet."

Something clicked in his mind concerning his memories of the previous day. Everyone staring at him; Natsu's rambling about his hair and Erza's, followed by Gajeel's impromptu assault as if to quiet him down; Bickslow congratulating him… "Oh, god." It was so obvious. How hadn't he realized it before?!

"Yeah… Erza's probably not going to be happy about that, hmm?" Meredy said sympathetically. It only lasted a second. "Anyway, on to the most important matter here: where do I stand in regards to this child? Am I the cool big sister who leads it astray? Or am I the supportive aunt he or she goes to when it's time to complain about how lame Dad is?"

"Meredy…"

"I'm serious here!" she insisted, ignoring his exasperation. "It is very important that this is decided from early on so I can make my role clear. And we also have other things to discuss. What are my auntie/big sister privileges? Am I expected to provide babysitting services and, if so, am I allowed to share embarrassing stories about you? Because if not, then I'm charging by the hour. And my babysitting services don't come cheap."

Even though the cake and accompanying breakfast foods packed to go were delivered to the table not two minutes later, he endured another quarter of hour of Meredy prattling about her role on the baby's life and giving suggestions about names (especially girls' ones, all not-so-coincidently similar to her own – Melody, Meldy, Melodia, etc – because they had 'such a classy ring to them) mostly because he was not looking forward to informing Erza of the fact the whole Guild was aware of her… condition.

He had a distinct feeling that she wouldn't be happy to wake up to _that_. They hadn't quite discussed when the reveal would occur but it had been quite clear on the previous day that there were still several boxes to tick on their list before they got to that.

As he walked home, he considered simply running away with Erza for a while. Get her out of town under the guise of going on an extended vacation and bring her back in a few months when it would be inevitable for people to know she was pregnant just by looking at her. Even if she found out they'd already known about the pregnancy for months then, she would probably be too relaxed to be angry… or maybe not, given that it was Erza Scarlet he was talking about and anger was something that came very easily to her.

He sighed – there was just no hope for a good outcome of that. He might as well say it and just let her run with it, he concluded as he opened the front door of his and Erza's cottage and walked in.

Erza was nowhere in sight downstairs, not even in the kitchen when he dropped the shameful amount of strawberry treats he'd gotten her on the table. As such, he made his way upstairs where he found her, as expected, in the bedroom.

She seemed to have been up for a while, though, seeing as her hair was wet, probably from a shower, and she was wearing a bathrobe rather than the day clothes she'd accidentally slept in. Her eyes were on the discarded pages of their list, which he'd placed on the dresser, and she read them while at the same time toweling her hair off. She didn't even notice him walking in until he wrapped his arms around her from behind, something unusual given that she was almost always alert to her surroundings.

"Morning," he said against her ear, reaching around it to place a kiss on her cheek.

"Good morning," she replied. "You took your time."

"Sorry," he apologized. His arms, which had been wrapped around her rib area, moved further down to where he imagined the baby would be. For one, thinking of it didn't throw it into a river of despair and fear about what the future might hold. There was, of course, some of the usual guilt and more than a little of the particular brand of fear impending parenthood brought to most future parents. It seemed that the hope Meredy's words had given him wasn't as fickle as he'd thought… "I ran into Meredy in the bakery."

The word 'bakery' had her turning around to face him at once, little stars burning in her eyes. "Did you bring my usual?"

He nodded. And then, because Meredy's accusation of him being a shameless enabler was still burning in his mind, he really couldn't help wanting to wash his hands of the matter by addressing it. "You know, with the baby and everything, we should probably rethink your daily consumption of…" he trailed off, watching it as the little stars in her eyes suddenly started to fade as her lids lowered, making her eyes narrow into slits. That wasn't a good sign.

"Yes?" she prompted, her tone sounding remarkably… venomous. It should be noted that at no moment did she utter a threat. And, really, anybody else would have already been on the floor, squealing in pain just from saying the words 'rethink your daily consumption' as if she even consumed anything on a daily basis that needed to be rethought. Jellal, however… one could say he benefitted from a tremendous amount of bias from her.

He gulped. "I forgot what I was going to say," he lied.

_Good boy,_ she thought.

Clearing his throat, he rushed to changing the subject. "So, what was it that had so much of your attention in the list?"

"Nothing in particular," she said, waking over to the bathroom door and hanging the towel on. "I was just thinking we have a lot to do. And it will be close to impossible for the guild not to notice something is odd…"

Jellal felt his heart skipping a beat as she said that. Mavis… he'd been hoping to at least make it past breakfast without having to tell her…

"Do you think we should tell them?" she asked. "Some of those books we looked into did say that it's better to wait for the fourth month… Maybe we could just let them wonder for a while. Yes, that's probably for the best, really."

Jellal cleared his throat. "Yeah… about that…"

**To be continued on the epilogue…**

**Next up: Natsu digs his grave even further and Erza decides to give him a lesson on Marine Biology…**

**A/N2: The proposal is a refference to my fic 'Under the Starry Sky'. Check it out if you want to see the actual proposal :D**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: And so, here's the last chapter of 'Of Accidents and Whale-Watching'. I hope you liked it because it sure was fun to write!**

"Guys, come on!" Natsu moaned, glaring at his guild mates. They'd been given him crap since he'd blabbed about Erza having a kid on the way the previous day.

As if it wasn't bad enough Master, Mira and Lucy had given him an earful the previous day, now everyone was just plain giving him a cold shoulder – his own team had even walked out of their table when he'd sat down with them! How could they be so cruel?!

"Flame brain, I think I'm speaking for everyone when I say that we're keeping our distance because we don't want to get caught up on the catastrophe that will be Erza's punishment for you," Gray declared from the new table he and Lucy had moved into, which Levy and Gajeel also occupied. After his tiny little brush with her wrath the previous year, resulting from a brief return of his smoking habit, he most definitely counted himself as an expert on Erza's particular brand of punishment. And after the nightmares it had given him, he definitely didn't want to be on the wrong end of it again.

"What punishment?!" Natsu demanded.

"You told everyone Erza is having a baby," Lucy pointed out. "Do you really think there won't be punishment for that, Natsu?"

"Why would there be?! 't's not like I was lying!"

The blonde just let out a grunt while Gajeel spoke up. "You really are a moron," the Iron Dragon Slayer stated. "Even your cat had the sense to run for it until this blows over."

"Run? Happy didn't run," Natsu said, confused. "He went to visit the other Exceeds in New Extalia."

"So suddenly and all by himself?" Patherlily asked, looking skeptical. "One would think he would invite me or at least Carla to go along, given that we're exceeds as well."

"Just accept it, Salamander," Gajeel told him. "Your cat knew you were getting clobbered for running your mouths and skipped town. Do yourself a favor and do the same."

"The hell I will!" Natsu declared. "You guys are being nuts. So, I told everyone Erza is having a kid – big deal! It's not like she could hide it forever! She's seen pregnant women before – she's got to know that she'll be a total whale in no time!"

The sound of glass breaking was the only thing that could be heard in the guild. That was, until a deadly voice came from the bar. "_What did you just say?!"_

_Oh, shit,_ Natsu thought, turning around to find that sweet, loveable Mirajane had just turned into a scary, murderous version of herself. He spent a second wondering why until he recalled that, oh, yeah, Mira was supposed to be knocked up too… and, in hindsight, describing pregnant women as whales in front of a pregnant woman was probably not that great an idea.

Up until then, he had been sure everyone was just making a fuss and there was no way Erza would be that mad and kill him. Now, he _did _know he would die, though maybe at Mira's hands instead.

"I… er… well…"

Mira stepped from behind the bar, eyes blazing with rage, and the only thing he could really do was taking step after step back, matching the steps she took in his direction… that is, until he hit something. Or rather someone. Someone whose chest area felt very… metallic.

In his mind, there was only one person who could fit that description. And, although up until a minute before he would have sworn on anything that he was in no danger from her, now, due to his big mouth, he was scared shitless.

"A whale, was it, Natsu?" he heard Erza's all-too-calm voice saying from behind him while Mira got closer, looking like she wanted to rip his throat out.

"_Somebody check how tall the moron is so we can go and order him a coffin_," Gray's voice came from somewhere.

He would have shouted something back at the ice bastard, weren't it for the fact that he felt the back of his scarf being pulled and suddenly he was on the floor, being dragged out of the guild by it. And along with being dragged came… _blergh!_

"Wow, he gets motion sickness _this_ easily?" Meredy commented as she, along with the bulk of the guild, followed after Erza as she dragged the stupor-afflicted Dragon Slayer out.

All the while, Jellal stood at the door, simply watching it as his pregnant girlfriend dragged a grown man across the floor like a sack of potatoes. Should he stop her? He felt like he should stop her.

"Leave it be," Laxus stated, joining him at the door, most of the guild already far ahead of them. Jellal looked at the Thunder Dragon Slayer in disbelief and he simply shrugged. "It's not like Natsu isn't used to this, anyway. And as long as she's taking her frustrations out on him, she's not doing it on you. So, like I said, leave it be."

"Right…" the blue-haired man mumbled hesitantly.

"So, anyway, you and Titania too…" Laxus said. "The two strongest women in Fairy Tail having kids at the same time… someone ought to warn the Fiore Calamity Department so they can make a contingency plan about this."

"It probably won't be _that bad_," Jellal said. "Erza's been taking this better than I have, for one…"

Laxus snorted. "Idiot. That's because the hormones haven't kicked in yet. Why don't you ask Alzack how often Bisca shot at him when she was having their kid? But make sure you buy him a drink before you do that 'cause he'll stutter and shake like a leaf if you don't. Expect him to mumble the name 'Moulin Rouge' under his breath a lot too – apparently her outlaw alter ego kicked in every once in a while."

Jellal's eyes widened. He was making that up, right?

"Tell you what, man, we'll make a gentleman's agreement right now: I'll help you hide from Erza whenever she goes ape-shit on you if you do the same from me. We might as well stick together since we're on the same boat here."

The blue haired man could only gulp.

In the meantime, outside, Erza she went around the guild's main building in the direction of the lake shore behind it, still dragging Natsu by his scarf.

"Erza, I know he's a moron but please don't kill him," Lucy begged for her boyfriend's life as she followed her team mate, mildly concerned. "He's got redeemable qualities."

The redhead grunted. "Although I can't think of any such qualities at the moment, killing him would defeat the purpose of punishing him. He wouldn't learn anything that way. _Like when to keep his mouth shut about other people's business_," she hissed.

Gray cleared his throat, following her as well. "So, you're really… you know… knocked up?"

Erza kept walking, not looking back. "Yes."

"Right…" he mumbled awkwardly. "Wait, doesn't that mean you shouldn't be pulling heavy stuff such as the dead weight of a semi-conscious lunkhead?"

"Yeah, my wife made me carry everything for her when she was in a family way," Wakaba said as he followed along.

"Mine too," Macao agreed.

"A real man won't let a pregnant woman carry such a heavy load!" Elfman declared. And, as such, he reached down and lifted up one of one of Natsu's legs, which had been dragging on the ground up until then.

Like the gentlemen they were (and also eager to see what Erza had planned for Natsu) several of the guys from Fairy Tail came by and helped as well, Gray taking the other leg and Bickslow and Gajeel an arm each.

"_Trai… tors…_" Natsu managed to helplessly mumble despite his sickness.

"So, what's the plan, Erza?" Mira asked, walking along with her, eager to join in on the revenge plan.

"Well, since Natsu thinks we'll be as good as whales very soon, I thought he might be interested in getting acquainted with one," Erza informed her.

No one bothered to point out that there were no whales in the lake they were walking towards. By the time they reached the shore, Laxus and Jellal had already caught up with the group.

"Don't tell me you're just dumping him in the water," Laxus said, unimpressed. "'Cause if you do, you'll be doing him a favor since the motion sickness will be gone."

"Of course not," Erza said, eyeing him disdainfully, irked that he would underestimate her so badly. Just then, an inflatable boat materialized out of nowhere just by the water.

"You keep that thing inflated in your requip space?" Bisca, as a fellow requip user, asked in disbelief.

"It would be no good in an emergency if it was deflated," Erza replied, as if it was perfectly normal for someone to carry a lifeboat on them at all times. She turned to the volunteers who were still carrying Natsu, making a point of jiggling him around as they stood by so he wouldn't recover from his pitiful state. "Throw him in." And they promptly did, with a little more force that required, causing his head to hit the edge of the boat, which wasn't as soft as one would think, what with the boat being full of air to the limit. Satisfied, the redhead turned to her white-haired counterpart. "Would you like do have the honors, Mira?"

The barmaid giggled in a way far nastier than people would usually associate with her. She walked over to the boat, which was resting just at the shore, and glared at Natsu, who seemed to be just about to recover. "Have a nice time whale-watching," she declared before giving the boat a push with her foot with such an inhuman amount of force (later, some member of the guild would even suggest that if actually took a far more demonic shape than usual) that it went skidding atop the water in high speed, only stopping once it was several leagues away from the shore.

"No one bring him back to shore for the next twenty hours!" Erza demanded. "He's on a time out."

"Twenty hours? That's an awfully specific number," Cana commented.

Erza shook her head. "Last night I read that parenting books advise one hour of time out per year of age for misbehaving children. Years spent frozen in time aside, Natsu should be turning twenty soon, so this would be the appropriate amount for him."

Eyebrows were raised at her blatant attempt at testing parenting techniques on the grown Dragon Slayer.

"I'm pretty sure parenting books say _minutes_, not hours," Bisca pointed out. "And I don't think they would approve of using said 'child's' biggest weakness against them in the meantime…"

"Yes, I agree that those books have room for improvement," she stated, definitely missing the point.

The alarm was raised among her guild mates who shot Jellal looks of worry as if telling him to beware of her flare for discipline around their unborn child. He gulped although he was ninety percent sure she only employed that sort of rigidity with the most incorrigible members of her guild. He, for one, scarcely ended up on the wrong end of it despite his many mistakes. Not that he took that fact for granted, of course.

Cana was the one to break the silence that formed. "So, are we celebrating or what? Mira got at least a toast for her kid yesterday. It's only fair that Erza's gets the same!"

Gray chuckled. "You're just fishing for a free drink!"

"You bet your ass I am!" she shamelessly admitted. "And if you know what's good for you, you'll get busy with Juvia giving me more free drink sources."

"Yes!" the water mage shouted, coming out of nowhere to clutch onto Gray's arm. "Juvia approves!"

"I don't!" Gray replied helplessly.

Meanwhile, Mira was busy expressing her own happiness. "This is so exciting! Our first activity together as pregnant buddies!" she happily declared to Erza, bouncing like a child riding on a massive sugar high. One would think she was referring to something mild such as having their nails done together rather than torturing a poor Fire Dragon-Slayer who was unfortunate enough to have a mouth with no filter. "We'll have so much fun for now on! We can go shopping for baby things together and sign up for the same birthing class and compete to see who does batter in it…"

For the second time, alarm rose again among the members of Fairy Tail – the first seeds of competitiveness were planted. It could only get worse from then on.

Mirajane, however, was barely paying attention to the high-alert vibe around her, so she went on with her rant "…and then, after we have our babies, they can be best friends and compete too! Oh!" she shouted. "I've just had the most amazing idea! Maybe one day when they're grown up they'll fall in love and we'll share grandchildren!"

The strongest woman in Fairy Tail was so overwhelmed that Jellal just barely managed to catch her when her body started to go limp. _Oh god… grandchildren!_ She was just getting used to the idea of motherhood, so adding _grand_-motherhood to the equation… well, that was a tad too much for her.

"Fucking hell, Mira!" Laxus cursed. "Your brain is moving too fast. Put the brakes on that train of thought, woman!"

"Aw, don't be so mean, Laxus," Mira said to her husband, pouting a little. "Just imagine how strong your grandkids would be with the four of us in the gene pool…"

That was the third time alarm bells sounded to the maximum.

"No! I forbid it!" Makarov shouted immediately. "The day when you brats," he declared, gesturing at the general area where Erza, Mira, Laxus and Jellal were standing, "have a descendant in common is the day when this guild will go bust! Think of the damages we'll have to pay! The only worse thing I can imagine is if Natsu gets added to the equation somehow!"

Limp in Jellal's arms, Erza managed to let out a wounded sound, as if the idea of sharing a descendant with Natsu was physically painful.

"Pfft, you speak as if you'll still be in charge by then," Laxus commented carelessly. "As if we'd let your senile, fossilized ass be in charge that long."

"You can bet _your_ ass that even if I am dead, I'll come back from beyond the grave to protect Fairy Tail from this… this _mammoth_!"

"You're being too harsh, Third," a _very_ familiar voice said from nearby. The entire group was surprised to find their first master resting leisurely belly-down on the surface of the water, as if it was a bed. Her head was propped on her elbows and her legs were bent back, swinging back and forth. "I, for one, think Fairy Tail would benefit from having a mage with so much strong-powered blood in their veins," she declared before her eyes took a victorious twinkle in them. "There would be no question we were the strongest guild in the world then, not just Fiore!"

Everybody simply stared for a moment.

"Master Mavis? When did you get here?" Lucy asked in disbelief, given that they hadn't seen the woman in a while.

"Just now! My baby senses started tingling," Mavis declared. "I had to come by and see what was going on. Have I ever mentioned that I _love_ babies? I can't believe we're getting three of them now!"

"Wait, three?!" Evergreen said in alarm. "Is there a third person pregnant among us?"

Bickslow looked overjoyed. "Please let it be Ever! Please let it be her!" he prayed out loud, looking forward to a chance to troll her about it for the foreseeable months. His babies promptly echoed him, chanting 'Be Ever, be Ever' around him.

_Whack!_ "Stop wishing _that_ on me!" she hollered, banging her fan onto his helmet.

"Oh," Master Mavis said, covering her mouth and silently admonishing herself for the slip. "No, there isn't. I must have… _miscounted_." _Lies._ "Anyway, you know who also likes babies and is really good with the Rollidillo cubs back in Tenrou Island? My friend Zeref. Would it be okay for me to bring him by when the babies are born?"

Everyone gaped. "_No!"_

The first master pouted. "You're all a bunch of meanies," she mumbled.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, several leagues away in the lake, Natsu Dragneel hang helplessly on the edge of the boat.<p>

In the midst of the infernal nausea, he vaguely remembered that Igneel had, at one point in his childhood, warned him about messing with mothers even if he had been referring to other dragons and the wild animals hanging around the woods they lived in.

"_They can be vicious, Natsu. Look at them or their cubs the wrong way and you'll be in a lot of trouble. See this scar?_" he'd asked, pointing at the gash on his eye. "_A friend of mine gave it to me a couple of years back when I commented that her scales looked less bright than usual and she's the tamest dragon I know. Little did I know she'd just taken in a little human runt even younger than you to train her as a Dragon Slayer. Motherhood makes 'em crazy, I tell you."_

Good old dad. He should have probably listened to him better…

"H-help," he croaked pitifully.

**The End**

**A/N2 - Being that this fic belongs to my huge Jerza series (you can find it on my profile) you can expect sequels in the future and for the baby to make an appearance at some point. You can already get a few glimpses in "Wonder", "Giants" and "Mavis, the friendly ghost"**

**If you're wondering about Mavis's miscount, check out her namesake fic mentioned before!**


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